bad day. | Monday, September 12, 2005
things went very badly today.
woke up feeling aching all over, scared myself when sandra told me flash need to put video in it and i thought i didn't do it and the due date is tomorrow, quarrelled with parents.....and some minor ones...
it's been a long time since there's a misunderstanding between me and my parents. really sad abt it.
story's too long for me to mention, so i just leave it here...
supposed to meet keljin at orchard today. As i was abt to leave, my parents came in to scold me for some reason and i didn't go. No mood. And i didn't want to show my ugly face and bad mood. Sry keljin!...
great.so many problems today.
after the scolding, lots of things went through my mind. Am i really that lousy? am i really in the fault of everything?
my temper-sometimes, i really wish i didn't hurled those words at you. i really didn't mean it. it's all out of emotions. Many experiements and experiences have shown i'm a emotional peron. I know what i shouldn't do, but i let my emotions controlled me.... "Verbal injuries take a lifetime or longer to be forgiven."
prone to what pple says- have been telling myself to believe in things that i have seen personally only. but at times, i do get taken in by what others say. somehow affected. i'm just so dumb to fall for those stuff. "$%#DFGF*&*&^*&^*^*&"
procrastinations- i know what i ought to do, but i did not. Been complaining abt everything. yet no actions to amend them. "complains and complains...."
smiles/laughers-i really forgot how to laugh/smile. it's something which it seems so easy to do when it's not. It's about truly laughing from you heart. not just those jokes and silly stuff which u encounter daily. It's about truly laughing from you heart
confidence & determination- i'm seriously hampered by these two issues for years. Ever since after that incident occured.Where's the confidence to show the world's what i've done is right?Where's the determination to get things done when everyone believe you can't? it's all gone..... "and these 2 issues become something called pride...."
I don't want to be looked down anymore. But neither do i want to look down on others. I just wanna show them who i really am. I'm not a kid anymore, i dont want to be treated like a small child. I want to know how to laugh and smile . I need to filter off those words which i shouldn't listen to. Where am i? Who am i? i'm lost. Can you answer my problems?
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Created at 12:15 AM
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